so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I supernannyed him into submission
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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