i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
