Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
