just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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