I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
