margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
