Ketchup is God's man juice
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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