i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
You did what with his pubic hair?
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