Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
