Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Text me some of your sweat
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