I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
