I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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