I don't think brook has ever known best
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
