I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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