is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I want a musical about memes.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
