remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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