What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize