Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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