i can't believe i had my finger in that
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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