There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
this boner is exhausting
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
