with your own penis?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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