we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
worst night to have a conscience
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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