We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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