What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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