Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
it's like heaven, but drunker
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
