eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
