yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
