TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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