Just fell off a train. Bad.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
