Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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