It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
