I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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