Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
