I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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