my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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