just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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