yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
