when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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