I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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