Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
