TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
