I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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