I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
so that wasnt chicken after all
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
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