I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
