I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
two words: eviction party
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
