shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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