Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
