If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
