Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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