I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
They took my balls.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I would ride that face into the sunset
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
