Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
