I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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