he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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