i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
