hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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