I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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