Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
