HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize